Parenting With A Purpose

Nurturing Tomorrow's Leaders: The Transformative Power of Parental Engagement

Donna Williams Season 3 Episode 7

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Have you ever wondered how your involvement can truly shape your child's future? In this heartwarming episode of "Parenting with a Purpose," we promise to unravel the transformative power of parental engagement. Joining us is Kelley Bowers, a remarkable figure in early childhood education, who shares her inspiring journey from managing a home daycare to founding a thriving childcare center within her church. Kelly's 32 years of experience shine through as she discusses the crucial role parents play in laying down the foundation for their children to grow into future world leaders.

Our conversation takes you on a journey through the evolution of early childhood education, particularly focusing on Kelly's successful center in Wilmington, Delaware. Discover how her center expanded to include multiple classrooms and transportation services, ensuring children are both educationally and spiritually prepared for kindergarten. With the integration of the Abeka curriculum, Kelly emphasizes the blend of Christian values with academic learning, nurturing children's confidence as they step into the wider world. We also tackle parenting challenges, sharing personal stories and insights that bring out the joys and responsibilities of this noble role.

Nutrition, literacy, and fostering independence take center stage as we explore critical aspects of parenting. From the decision to ban unhealthy "oodles and noodles" to teaching phonics and alphabet skills, we focus on holistic child development. Kelly's success in expanding her childcare center is a testament to her dedication to nurturing young minds. As we wrap up, we invite our listeners to join our community of shared experiences, encouraging everyone to bring responsibility and beauty back into the art of parenting. Listen in every Thursday at 7 pm and let's continue this incredible journey together.

Parents are the Bows and Children are the Arrows they will land wherever we aim them eventually!

Speaker 1:

cmpradionet the voice of Chester. Thank you, hey everybody. Welcome to Patterns with a Purpose. I am your host, Donna Janelle.

Speaker 3:

And I am your co-host, pamela and this evening we have our special guest, kelly Bowers, a business owner, a God-fearing woman, and she is also a lovely wife and an awesome mother.

Speaker 1:

And a grandmother. Don't forget that Kelly's a grandma.

Speaker 1:

So, tonight's show. You know we are striving. Our mission here is to bring back the responsibility, nobility and beauty back into parenting. Right, we know that parents are bows and our children are arrows, and they will land wherever we aim them, as long as we give them the tools right, as long as we're putting them in the right direction. As long as we give them the tools right, as long as we're putting them in the right direction, as long as we're clothing them right and that allowing the world to close them. So, as we talk about that, our involvement, parental involvement how important it is that there's such a mandate on parenting.

Speaker 1:

Now, I don't know if you guys see what's going on in the world and the communities around us that parenting is the answer to some of these problems. Right, it is the solution. So our goal here at Parenting with the Prairie is we want parents to be involved in every area of your child's life, whether your child is still in the womb or all the way up to adulthood. Parenting never stops, right, it changes and evolves over time, but it never stops. So our job here is to make sure that parents are equipped with the tools so that they can make sure parenting is successful as possible, right, and, with that being said, that there is a lot that we as parents have to do, like the onus is on us, right, we are responsible. When we said responsibility, nobility and beauty, parenting is beautiful, but yet it's hard and it has some challenges, right, and we are all parents here, so we know that there are some challenges, so I don't think that we're coming to you from what we just read in a textbook or what we read on the screen. Listen, parenting out here is a hard, not life for us, right? I got four, pam got one, kelly got seven, psych not I got three of my own, and Kelly got four herself and hers are all adults, right? So we got parenting from every stage here at the table. So we hope that we're going to be able to enlighten you guys with some uh, wisdom and some things that we've gone through and things that are really important.

Speaker 1:

You know, this topic that we've been talking about, um, since season three started, is really about parental involvement. You know we have started with education and we're still riding out with this education thing, because we know that knowledge is power and we know that if we equip our children and our parents with knowledge that they that will take them, they'll become unstoppable and that will solve a lot of the world crisis today. So thank you for coming to the show, kelly. Kale, kelly Bowers.

Speaker 1:

So, as Pam said, kelly is a she owns a child care center. She's in early education. She's owned child care center. She's gonna let us know a little bit how long she's been doing this, but she is responsible for building the foundation for some of our children in the world so that they become world changers. Kelly, tell us you've been on the show before. Welcome back to the show, kelly, building a foundation for some of our children in the world so that they become world changers. Kelly, tell us you've been on the show before. Welcome back to the show, kelly. Can you tell, can you remind the audience and us of how long you've been in early childhood?

Speaker 2:

I have been in early childhood for 32 years.

Speaker 1:

Ooh, 32 years. Let me count, so I am 44, 32. Oh wow, yeah, yes, what's this? I'm sorry.

Speaker 3:

Don't be quiet.

Speaker 2:

That's what she does to me.

Speaker 3:

No, but I wasn't hearing it, Pam. Pam wasn't even born yet. Pam, you couldn't do the math. I know I'm specific.

Speaker 1:

But so 32 years, wow, wow. Tell us a little bit of how you I know you had, you were in your, you had your own home daycare, child care center and then you went into this, this new adventure, and you've had a couple of years now, into an actual center where there's a lot more children, there's different ages and a lot more requirements and responsibilities absolutely so how was that, how did the transition come about and how was that transition from the home to now having a physical center?

Speaker 2:

well, the transition really started with my licensed specialist when she had first gave me the idea of thinking about taking and putting my center into my church center into my church, and I was like, okay, you know, that was a great idea. And then I of course pitched it to Bishop and when he had came into my home center he had first said well, how long you want to have it here?

Speaker 1:

And that was like that's good, but how long.

Speaker 2:

So when the time came and I had to abruptly shut down my home center due to the violence in the area I was living, I just had to shut it down because I was responsible for other children's lives, you know, and I didn't want that responsibility, you know, being concerned with bullets coming through my home and everything. So I immediately shut my home center down. So it was shut down for a whole year, but within that year it was a transitioning year because then I began the process of transforming over to the center which is located in Christian Growth Ministries, and so 850 North Church Street, to be exact.

Speaker 2:

Yes, wilmington, delaware, 19801. And now I have four classrooms yes, four classrooms, wow, operating. And we do have transportation now. So we have before and after care.

Speaker 3:

Evolving yes.

Speaker 2:

Evolving, so it is growing. You know, of course you have your struggles here and there. You know growing pains, I call them Right. But I am very thankful because I have a great support system. You know, number one, a prayer partner, and even you, pammy, you know you have called and said I need prayer. You know I was just thinking about you. You know so prayer is the number one key. Okay, that really got me. You know so prayer is the number one key. Okay, that really got me, you know, motivated and encouraged to make that transition.

Speaker 2:

And once I made the decision to do it, really everything because it was God's will everything just started falling in place. You know I had the help of my licensed specialist at that time. You know they were very excited for me, you know so, when she came in and looked at the classrooms, not only did she, you know child care business owners that have larger centers than mine, that were very helpful, very helpful, and still are, as I call them, you know they respond to me very quickly. So the transition it was hard in the beginning because the way I had to shut down, but then when I started moving in faith, it became easy. Everything just started falling in place and I didn't really have to do a lot of advertising but really word of mouth, and then what I did start doing and putting out there. I did receive clientele and then we started having graduating classes yes which is beautiful when you do your graduation.

Speaker 1:

I attended the last one. I thought that was just amazing. It was up on stage, it's so cute, it was so cute and they are so excited.

Speaker 3:

They come dressed and ready. They tell their whole family it's so adorable.

Speaker 1:

Now Kel Kelly. Sorry, I said Kel because of what I called you.

Speaker 2:

Now Kel.

Speaker 1:

I have a question what makes you really want to do early childhood education, like, what's the drive there? Because there are so many people you know they could start off in early childhood education and as they continue to build their curriculum and then go into their higher education, they tend to go into like school centers and things like that. Versus you know owning your own child care center, being a CEO and director and was a teacher. You stepped out of the teacher role. Now Are you still a teacher?

Speaker 2:

you stepped out of the teacher role now, or you're still a teacher? I know you were. No, I'm not um in the classroom now.

Speaker 2:

Right, so you know I'm more administrative yeah, but finally, but that's a blessing, yes but I do still go in and help amanda with the preschool area because of the fact that you, you know, I have several children that would be graduating this year, so I want to make sure that they have everything they need to have to go to kindergarten, you know, to make sure nothing is, you know, lacking in any kind of way. So I still assist her because she still had those age groups from three to five. Okay, so those, you know, those four-year-olds, I have to make sure that they write.

Speaker 3:

Yeah, they write so ready. Let's touch on that, because you said I have to make sure. So it's like you know that that's your duty, that's something that you have taken on. You don't really hear that too much. So I know that you take it personal and that you genuinely care number one. However, what does that look like? Making sure to prepare, like what are some of the foundations that you're like, okay, you're going to be good when you go to kindergarten.

Speaker 2:

Okay, number one is the curriculum that I chose. Okay, I have been familiar in using the curriculum a BECA curriculum for over from the time that I. How many years is that?

Speaker 1:

You got to go back to know that.

Speaker 2:

Yes, because what happened in the midst of me doing my daycare? I had closed my center, went and worked in another school setting for eight years, wow. And in that time frame I was introduced to a Becca. However, I was doing a Becca in my home, not knowing about a Becca. So when I went to visit and was trained down in Pensacola, florida, only thing I did down there was cry, because I knew then I was being led by the Holy Spirit. So I was receiving and I was just buying as much material as I could, but the actual training how to work it the Holy Spirit had already taught me how to work it and I was doing the Rebecca program in my home without the material. I was creating the lessons myself, I was doing the drawing, everything. So when I went and say, wow, I don't have to do this anymore, they actually have books out there.

Speaker 2:

Yes, so, yes. So I taught that program for eight years outside of my home and then the school shut down and then I came back. But then when I came back I said, okay, Lord, do I want to go into being a nursery program again with the infants and the you know, the babies, or how do? How do you want me to do it? I had to pray and ask that question and then that's how I came up with a preschool with a purpose.

Speaker 2:

That was the newness of my business, Right Meaning that my um found date the foundation. My calling is to lay the foundation of Christ in the hearts of the babies that when they get older, that they will go forth and change nations. So I know why God has called me to do the preschool because it's to give them that love, to help them to know who they are, you know, to teach them about Christ, because of the fact that when they go out there into the secular schools, they won't need anyone to tell them who they are, Right, Right, so they will be sound, they will have a solid foundation educationally and they will have a solid foundation spiritually that's good.

Speaker 1:

That's good because that was the question I would made. You really do preschool and that makes sense now because you need to lay that foundation, because now at the preschool age, they're talking, they're walking and they're sponges. You know, as the nursery age, their babies, you're more, just, you're that care for them, but just in a different way. Um, so I think that that's awesome.

Speaker 2:

Yes, so when they're in the infancy, one, twos, they're in regular clothes, but when they no I'm sorry the one-year-olds, but at the two-year-old is when they actually have their curriculum, really start kicking in with different learning and they have their books. So that's when I have them to get in the school setting mindset. So they wear the uniform. That's the purpose of why they're in a uniform, so I'm preparing them for school. There's no time to baby them.

Speaker 1:

Right, she said the baby's age is over.

Speaker 2:

Yes, because of the fact, and it's easy to do, you know, because they're so lovable, you know they still need, you know all that extra care. But we have to learn how to do it tenderly, but with the mindset of knowing they're going somewhere Right, but with the mindset of knowing they're going somewhere right and we have to make sure that they are well prepared for where they are going.

Speaker 1:

Wow, that's good, kel, because I think sometimes even as parents, right, we want to be all lovey-dovey on our kids and like hug them, like, like they build the bears or something all spongy and stuff like that and really sometimes that takes away of our role for them and our job and our goal and a purpose for us to really lead them to their next steps. That sometimes it hinders them. So I like that because you're right, like in a, in a in a regular daycare, like there's just different care for the kids, but once they start to grow and we're, what are we setting them up for? How are we preparing them up for? How are we preparing? I like the uniform idea because I don't know back in my day it's structured, oh yes it presents.

Speaker 1:

Um, there was a thing called dress for success. So I feel like that's what uniforms kind of get you, and even if it's not a regular uniform, but even if you're just dressed in like a suit and tie and things like that, it really prepares the children for a mindset that we were going for a purpose and that I'm dressing for the success that I'm looking to get. So I love the uniform idea, even at such a young age as two years old, I think that?

Speaker 2:

that's just amazing. Yes.

Speaker 3:

Helping with routine. So, even if it's not a strong routine at home, they know, oh, when I'm coming to Kingdom Builders.

Speaker 2:

I know I wear this five times. I may not know how many days is in a week, but I know.

Speaker 3:

I'm wearing this five times and it's already setting a foundation of structure right there. So you said educationally and spiritually, but you're also equipping them with other tools that, even if they're not getting it at home, them coming to Kingdom Builders, it's being integrity, showing up as their best selves. Because I'm sure if you see somebody's uniform you know we look the same. But you got your stain on yours. You're like, oh man, I got to be a little neater.

Speaker 2:

Right, look at there, I do address that, I do address that. Because I do address that, I do address that. And to the point of if the child has not really succeeded in that area yet, you know, because at home their eating habit may be different, right, they may be still running around or using their hands. But we at the school, we give them their tools.

Speaker 2:

And we encourage them to use them and we're sitting there with them and we great job, you know. But if we see someone that is still struggling with their fine motor skills, I'll remove the shirt. Okay, I will. I will remove the shirt Because, you know, once they get all cleaned up, you know, get their face and their hands everything you know. I put their clothes back on and they still be neat. They won't be walking around with stains and everything in their shirt.

Speaker 1:

That's really good. You know, my kids go to the military academy and one of the things that they do is they do a uniform inspection, like my kid, like I've never knew of this before because I've been running my daughter, my oldest daughter. She went to private school, but I don't recall them doing inspections for like uniforms. You know, I've always presented in such a way where she's really neat. However, but with them going to the military county, it really opened my eyes on. You know, I'm big on presentation anyway, but but it took it up another notch with the kids because they knew inspection was coming, so their uniforms had to be neat, they had to no stains, none of that stuff. So I think that's really good. Teach them at a young age of presentation, like how to present well your best self forward.

Speaker 3:

And to care for your thing.

Speaker 2:

Yes, and also how you present your classwork. It represents you, so if you are made to look well, your paper should look just like you. Wow, mm-hmm. So that means okay, I don't want people to think I'm being a tyrant.

Speaker 1:

OK.

Speaker 2:

So, but you do have to train the children how to hold the pencil, how to color Right. No, they're not going to start out right away. No, they're not. That's all a part of the training and their development.

Speaker 1:

Right, right.

Speaker 2:

Right, development, right, right, right. So as they start developing, and you can, their communicational skills and more fine motor skills and everything, but as they're doing it, you still making um, giving them compliments, right, you are doing such a better job today, staying in your lines and you know writing your name, oh my good, the letters could be everywhere, they could be backwards, they could be, but they wrote them Okay, or they tried. So you want to compliment that. You know you want to build them up with positivity. You know that they will continue to improve and they will take it home. Mom, dad, look what I did. They're proud, you know, and that's good because you're building up their self-esteem.

Speaker 1:

I'm glad you just said that In your expert opinion. How important is it to have parental involvement Very important and what have parental involvement Very important and what does parental involvement look like?

Speaker 2:

Well, for me, parental involvement means number one. The parent is involved in preparing their breakfast, involved in preparing their lunch? Okay, no, seriously, because I have in the small center just for a moment. We don't have the ability to prepare our lunch. Okay, so I made the decision with parent involvement. Hey guys, would this be too much for you to bring the children's luncheon?

Speaker 1:

Mm-hmm.

Speaker 2:

They have agreed. But also the children love it because it becomes a conversational piece at the table and I love that because they're communicating with one another.

Speaker 3:

Do they keep trying?

Speaker 2:

to trade no. Oh, that's good no they do not, they do not try to trade.

Speaker 3:

That's good.

Speaker 2:

They are very thankful with their mom or their dad has prepared for them, and they will let you know if dad prepared their lunch. They will say that that is beautiful. So no, they have not. You know, they're very proud about what's in their lunchbox, and they'll also let you know if it's something new.

Speaker 2:

You know one child today he had Amanda and I in tears. He tried it, he really did. He chewed it up. He said ooh, ooh, and spit it out. And said ooh, ooh, ooh, it spit it out. It said we were hot, but it was so cute, you know, because he um, when we tell the children, that's your mom's love, so you have to eat your mom's love. This is what she gave to you, so try it, you know.

Speaker 1:

And he like what kind of love is this Cause you telling me this? My mom love, wait a minute. Flag on the plate flag on the plate.

Speaker 3:

He ate the rest of the lunch. But it was funny, it really was.

Speaker 2:

But, yes, how they take involvement in, like I said, their lunch Excuse me their presentation with their uniform, their communication with us. Ok, you know, and you know because it's important as we have the children about 10 hours a day. You need to let us know if you notice something that the child may not be feeling well that day, you know, or you think they're getting a little cold or something like that, and give us instructions on what you want us to do. So but it's also important that when the child brings home the classwork, that part that's vital. Why? Why? Because how you take a look at their work as a parent. If you say, great job, johnny, you did it. Oh my goodness, you make a big deal out of it and hang it up. That gives them. When they come back in their performance the next day, they just ready to do something.

Speaker 1:

I'm going to make a line today.

Speaker 2:

That's right, Because they just they want to make their parents proud. Right, okay, you know but if you just don't even take it home out of the cubby, that says a lot.

Speaker 3:

Especially the, you know, the three-year-olds four-year-olds, that starts planting little stuff inside of them, absolutely.

Speaker 2:

And they don't want to learn. So when we say, okay, let's do circle time, let's play a game with our numbers or our letters, they uh, uh-uh. It's not important to them because it's not important to the parent. Wow.

Speaker 1:

So, wow. So what I'm hearing you say is that parental involvement is vital, and one of the ways that parents can get involved is getting involved in their education.

Speaker 2:

Absolutely. We went to visit a school Bishop and I and we were talking to I believe she was the vice principal and she said the worst thing ever is when they have to make a decision on a child's life based upon 504s, ieps and FIs, and the parent didn't take the time to come and sit and meet with them to find out what's going on with their child. Now in the school, the state has to make a decision on your child's future without you. Wow, that stuck with me, yeah, like, oh, my God, right, yeah.

Speaker 1:

Parental involvement is so important because, because you know, as we say here and we say all the time, parents are your first teachers, your first cheerleaders, your first advocates, your first lovers. Like, parents are the first of everything. And if what you don't get at home and you expect someone else to give to your child, I think that's utterly ridiculous. Like you gotta get give it to them so that they can understand and accept it from others. Um, I think you and I had this conversation previously, kel, about um, when we talk about the whole yelling at kids and stuff like that, right, yeah, about, like, if a parent is yelling at their kid, now we talk about parental involvement.

Speaker 1:

I ain't talking about be screaming at your kids, um, but if a parent is constantly yelling at their kids, when they get into another setting, that adult now has to yell at those kids because that's all they hear. You know, like, if you constantly screaming, like because they're not going to hear the soft, gentle voice or the level voice, because their ears are not attuned to that, because they're so used to hearing somebody yell at them, and then that becomes a problem within a classroom because, say that you're a teacher who don't yell at kids, well, this kid is never going to do what you ask them to do because you ain't gonna be yelling at them, right? So, really, training parents so that we're not screaming at our kids, that we're talking with them, not at them, right? Um, so that they're better off be able to receive the education they need to receive, from that standpoint, yes.

Speaker 1:

We talk about that a lot because we see a lot of that.

Speaker 3:

That's called something Like when you use that same tone all the time, because then when you do have to get stern with them, it's like, well, you talk like this all the time.

Speaker 1:

Yeah, like you mad today. I didn't even know you was mad, because you like this all day.

Speaker 3:

It's an emergency. Are you sure you get what I'm saying, like, should I really be doing this or should I be doing that? Because this is what always happens here. And it's like, wow, we really got to sit back and evaluate ourselves, like, what are we really doing?

Speaker 1:

You know what that happens. How effective are we yeah, how effective?

Speaker 2:

Yes, because we have to make sure that we are getting our point across to our children, because you have to think about it In the age that they're growing up in, compared to Compared to your age.

Speaker 1:

Kelly.

Speaker 2:

Compared to your age, kelly all right compared to your time okay um, I'm closer to that than she is um, our children today have a lot of distractions, uh-huh yeah, a whole lot of distractions, so it's hard to get their attention. So us, as parents, really, really, really need to know how can we get our children's attention.

Speaker 3:

Yeah, they are listening because they're exposed to so much, so much in this time frame. Like I remember my grandma used to be like oh, these kids, as fast they busy. I was like no, y'all used to treat us like we was a little slow and we probably was exposed to certain things. It was holding us back Like their minds go like a thousand. Sometimes I sit there and watch Victoria and I'm like what are you thinking? And she'll get like so tickled pink like mom, how do you know?

Speaker 3:

And I'm like I can tell you do certain things. It's either she wants to do an action, whether she wants to write or read, and then sometimes she's about to draw and it's like I don't even want to do this anymore. It's something else I got to go do and I'm just like so damn.

Speaker 2:

Always moving, always moving.

Speaker 3:

So so damn. Today she was doing her homework before we came and she was like I said what's going on? She was like I got to take my moment mama and I was like, all right, it's over 17.

Speaker 3:

I said you messed me up. She said you told me about my breathing. You told me about my breathing. She said mom. She said I didn't want to sit in and she did her shoulders and everything. And I sitting there like, oh my gosh, you're using what I'm teaching you and I love it and I was just like she's like I'm serious, mom. I was like I understand, I'm sorry, but it's so funny to watch them do it like a little woof style.

Speaker 1:

Yeah, and it's so funny because back in the day if a child did all that extra breathing and stuff, a parent would think that the child was being smart and get smart and they get knocked out of their chair.

Speaker 2:

I'm trying to tell y'all. I'm seeing it and it happened to me, Like when we suck in their teeth.

Speaker 1:

Yeah, suck in their teeth. Oh, you taking a deep breath. I'm just breathing. What's the problem? Like I didn't know I wasn't allowed to breathe today. I didn't know I wasn't supposed to swallow my saliva, that you didn't hear me.

Speaker 1:

Like I don't know, but it's really different in this day and age Of really giving our children that space and teaching them how to self soothe. That's what it is, because as a baby, when our kids self soothe, a lot of parents were, but not really. Our kids have to grow up but they're not going to be with us at all times and we need to equip them with the tools to be able to manage her doing that. It's probably funny as heck looking at it.

Speaker 2:

I probably would have fell on the floor.

Speaker 1:

But really giving them that time even at such a young age, and I think sometimes we devalue our children at the age that they are thinking that they don't need all that. But apparently she couldn't sit down and she needed it. So even Carol, when you look at your kids and you sit there, I need to come in Maternity, to come in and do a moose eye day with them. Babies, carol.

Speaker 3:

I see one of your old kids they say she from Kingdom Builders and the parent looking at me like I said I want to visit, I want to visit. I didn't teach them.

Speaker 1:

Yeah, I think that is so important to really teach them how to be independent. So you know, one of the things about parenting is that we want to do so much for our children. Like parents, you want the best for them and a lot of times that there's such a line where you're doing too much, not enough or just right Right, and it's hard to tell. But ideally we really want to teach our children how to be independent as early as possible, and I think some parents me in the beginning was babying so much, oh, you know, and my sister had a two year old.

Speaker 3:

Yeah, my sister yeah Like oh, I was not like that.

Speaker 1:

Y'all probably thought something was wrong with me. You're a different generation, so you realize.

Speaker 3:

I literally did not like my mom would come over sometimes and I'd pick that baby up and I'd be like no, she's going to be okay. Like something happens to me today or tomorrow, my child's going to be okay. She's like Pam, she's only one month.

Speaker 1:

Wait a minute.

Speaker 3:

Look at her right now. Look at Victoria right now. But Pam, pam, she ain't got no choice to be with you, I'm telling you I am because I was determined from when she was in my womb the way I would talk to her, teaching her about family, just character confidence everything. Even if I was going through something, I'd be like mommy's, not having a good day today, but I don't want that to affect you.

Speaker 3:

Literally having real conversations, because when I didn't, and I would be upset, she would like cringe in my stomach so bad, it would be like so painful, like oh my gosh, can you please move? And I literally would sit there and talk to her, we would pray, and then it would be like release. It's still like that, still to this day, because that was my biggest thing I want her to be independent.

Speaker 1:

Yeah, it really is Like we're supposed to nurture them and grow, but also understanding that they won't be babies forever and that they really need a sense of independency so that they can grow and mature themselves. Growth and development If you look at the stage of growth and development, there is a lot of independency in those growth stages. We, just as parents, sometimes want to just, oh, my baby. I've been telling my sister with my, uh, baby girl she 18 months I'd be like, hey, bro, let her do that. I remember and she's gonna give me.

Speaker 1:

But I remember a story when she was trying to give her different foods. And you know, I'm a pediatric nurse and I've been doing this, you know, for a long time and I've been doing this, you know, for a long time and I've been parenting for over 25 years. So I'm like why is she still eating it? Like, and why are you feeding her? Like what is going on? And I was like you, really, she's, but she's going to get messy. It's okay, that's part of that. And I used to be like I used to give her different foods and my sister's like I didn't even know. So sometimes, even as parents, we want to just continue to baby them, but they that's not what they need. We parents got to give them, our children, what they need, not what we want them to have right because we're preparing them to go somewhere yes, yeah, yeah, absolutely yes absolutely.

Speaker 2:

You know, that's one thing that I keep in the forefront of my teacher's mind. You know, especially my wonderful Kalia. She's a cuddler. Hey, kalia, that baby, they've been hugged all morning long by you. Okay, kalia is a hugger because at your graduation, kel, at that graduation.

Speaker 1:

All them little babies did not want their parents. They was running up on stage for Khalia.

Speaker 2:

I was weak.

Speaker 1:

She couldn't even finish their program with the other kids because those babies was really having a fit to try to get to her. I thought I was like, wow, they are so attached to her.

Speaker 3:

She's a couple and they can't say her name. What do they call her? It's so cute.

Speaker 2:

Some say Lili, um, they, but some say Lily, and some I don't know.

Speaker 3:

They call her this one name and I was like who is that?

Speaker 1:

Who is that Like Kalia, and I'm like, oh yeah, but you, it's good to have a person who's at a child especially when you go to centers right To be able to love your child as much as as as you do, um, it's very important but also, like you said, reminding your teachers that they have somewhere to go, somewhere. So, because I saw that I was laughing, my behind them, kids was running up on the stage, they moms was like come back over here, and I was like, oh, it's a struggle between the teacher and the mom today. I was weak. I was over there weak because I was like yo, he don't even want his mom, though, like yo, he want that teacher. But that's so important to remind teachers that they have somewhere to go.

Speaker 2:

And I like that.

Speaker 1:

One of the other things, Kel, that I want to talk about tonight is nutrition.

Speaker 2:

Yes, we talked a lot about that.

Speaker 1:

Yeah, yes, nutrition a lot about that. Yeah, yes, nutrition what? What we see in the lunches, what we see um in the breakfast, or even the snacks that some of these parents bring in for their kids. A lot of it, um, sometimes it's just quick stuff, like we want our kids to have something quick. But you and I had this conversation and pam, I think we talked about this on the show before about um certain things that we have in our children's snack that really kind of alter the brain right, um, the chemicals and things and um and also the hazard in them, not just the chemical base but even just a choking hazard and things like that. Let's touch base on that a little bit, because you are early childhood education, so you dealing with children when they come from bottles to um finger foods, to using utensils and really having to learn how to navigate, chewing and swallowing, so let's talk a little bit about that.

Speaker 2:

Okay. So when you and I were talking about that, my first concern was the oodles and noodles. Let's deal with that.

Speaker 1:

Oodles and noodles. Are you familiar? You know what oodles and noodles are? Yeah, you know.

Speaker 2:

You giggle no.

Speaker 3:

She giggle, but the oodles and noodles.

Speaker 2:

I had to ban them because of the fact yes, because, number one it became a choking hazard. You know, we found that out. And then all the salt it is. There's a lot of salt in those things, you know, we don't want to keep giving our babies a bunch of salt and we're wondering why they have headaches and they're getting sick and and everything like that.

Speaker 2:

You know, um, some children used to have uddles and noodles every day. Yes, and it's not good and it's not a healthy meal, you know. So, um, we sent out donna helped us to put a letter together and we sent out the food pyramid to yes, to the parents to give them an idea of the different type of foods that need to be given during breakfast, lunch. And we take care of the snacks. So we know that their snacks are healthy, because that's what we have to do per the state. So they have to have whole grain milk water. They cannot have juice all the time, but if they do have a juice, it has to be 100% fruit juice. Yeah, yes, so that's what we make sure that we serve now, when we do our am snack. It's usually like a whole grain waffle or it could be pancakes, but it has. They have to have fruit with that meal also, and milk or fruit juice.

Speaker 3:

You know um it could you have to do a grain and a fruit for the am snack but for pm snack?

Speaker 1:

same thing oh wow, yeah, it makes sense because you know you're supposed to get four fruits, vegetables per day and you can get, and then again we're building a foundation right yes so even teaching them, because some parents really just don't know, they kind of just give them what they have left over or something like that.

Speaker 1:

They really don't know, or the easiest thing and not really understanding nutritional value of food right. So starting them off early, so not even just teaching the parents, but teaching the children right of what they should eat and what fruit looks like and what's vegetables. You know, when we talked about that whole oodles and noodles thing, it was just in the vegetable also in the vegetable yeah, they need to get familiar snacks it could be either or

Speaker 1:

so like celery is a vegetable broccoli well, you know those things, but it's so important, like when we, when you had mentioned that oodles and noodles like, and I just like, yeah, well, it's sodium, but it's a choking hazard too. Like what is it the oodles and noodles like? How? And parents really don't know my daughter, she loves ramen, but what she does, she makes her own. Now, um, because she doesn't use any of the seasons in there, she just like to, actually the way the noodles are. So don't want to test my game, so y'all know.

Speaker 1:

She makes her own ramen, though she uses the noodles, but then she puts her own broccoli in there and she does all this stuff. It was so gourmet. It was so gourmet. One day I was like this is gourmet, because I was like you didn't put a swing on oozing noodles.

Speaker 1:

We didn't do this back in the day. But at first I had banned it from her because I thought that all she wanted was these noodles and I thought about the sodium intake and things like that. But when I found out that she wasn't even using those packets like she really just liked the noodle portion of it.

Speaker 3:

Oh, for the babies. They was putting the packets in there. Oh yeah, oh, oh yes.

Speaker 1:

That's a flag on the plate. Flag on the plate like and half of them trying to learn look, they're trying to learn how to swallow, and all that and they got noodles all curled up the salt. Yeah, oh my yeah um, but it's so important, even in your, in your line of work, is to educate the families on nutrition.

Speaker 3:

So do you sit?

Speaker 1:

Oh, I'm sorry, no, because it's just not academia, it's holistically.

Speaker 3:

Yes, absolutely Go ahead, shori. I was going to say, when you helped make the letter, did you give full ideas?

Speaker 1:

I think I put a couple examples on there. Yeah, I did put examples on there.

Speaker 2:

How to replace it.

Speaker 1:

Yeah, yeah.

Speaker 2:

I did.

Speaker 1:

Because I'm a strong leader. If you're going to tell somebody to take something away, you better tell them what to add in, Because they're going to add to anything else Something worse than what you told them to take away. I know right.

Speaker 3:

You might just have all chips, yeah.

Speaker 1:

She'd be having it yeah.

Speaker 3:

So I want to like slide back to you being at the house. Did you have teachers?

Speaker 2:

there with you, or was it just you? Well, I did have teachers with me, but they were younger, they were growing up in the field and you know they probably stray from it now because they are adults. But I always had, especially in the summertime. If one of the children that was with me when they were younger and now they're a teenager and they want a job, I let them come work for me.

Speaker 3:

I still do that. Oh, that is awesome, I still do that.

Speaker 2:

Yeah, Like this year, I had Rain Chapman with me With me, I had Jaya Lorraine with me.

Speaker 3:

It was and they love the little people. Yes, absolutely.

Speaker 2:

They have a heart for them, so that's awesome.

Speaker 3:

They love the little people. Yes, absolutely. They have a heart for them. So that's awesome, even the way that you give back and give an opportunity to see is this a route that you want to go? Yes, absolutely, when you start career-wise and things of that nature.

Speaker 2:

Yes, so during the summertime I do bring in teenagers that would like to work with the children, have a summer job and they have a workload. I let them know what they have to do so they cannot just be sitting around. No, you cannot be on your phone. Your eyes are at work. You have to watch the children.

Speaker 3:

Because they're busy. Yes, read books, play games, arts and crafts, keeping them active so for communication, I know you, um, we're seeing you know, uh, showing up for the children in different ways, but how do you communicate with the teachers, you and your staff? Do you guys use like an app, emails in person letters?

Speaker 2:

with the parents or with the teachers with the parents like.

Speaker 3:

So how do you and the staff communicate with the parents?

Speaker 2:

um anyway, different ways. Um number one on face-to-face communication. All right, um is the number one when they first come in and I do allow my teachers to have basically the freedom to communicate with the parents. Now, if the parents ask basically like an administrative question, then send them to me. Okay, you know, but if it's something pertaining to the, you know their child, they seen their child? Do you know something that they? Um observed?

Speaker 2:

you know, um, yes, write it down and share with the parent you know. And then you come and we'll put it in their folder once you get your response right. So I do give my, my um teachers, that freedom to communicate with the parents, but also make me aware. So they're trying to loop. So, yes, so face-to-face communication. Naya sends out emails. Okay, or a sickness that is spreading around, something that is very, very important, that the parents need to know immediately. Now you will send out an email, we'll text, we'll phone call, whatever way we have to do, we don't get their attention. One way, we'll keep it going.

Speaker 3:

And so do you feel as though you've made the environment suitable for parents to have that open line of communication with you and the staff absolutely awesome, a little bit too much sometimes, because sometimes I wonder if parents, like, don't communicate because they don't feel as though they have that environment.

Speaker 2:

Right right.

Speaker 3:

Or you know, like it's made available to them. Like I had to tell my daughter's teacher this year like I don't know, I guess I was so used to her teachers in the past, like you know, just communicating certain things and I don't get to physically see her how I used to with Victoria being in early education center, so the communication was different. So I told her like I'm that parent that wants to know, like everything.

Speaker 3:

If it doesn't cost you too much. You know, could you, could you do this? And she was like, oh my gosh, she used to get shot down. So that's why she fell back. She didn't get responses, so that's why she fell back. She didn't get responses, so that's why she?

Speaker 3:

fell back with the homework. She said this is her first year and I think she's been a teacher for 15 years. This is her first year with the turnover that she gets with homework coming back completed. Wow, and that's why she does it every other week, because she says she nothing used to come back when she sent it. Every week she says, and I've even tried every other week. She said but this is the first year she's had so much parent involvement. She's like do you guys like all know each other, or something?

Speaker 1:

I'm like I'm telling you that we're coming back. Parenting is coming back. We're not playing, no, kelly. Another question for you? Hmm, no, seriously, not no-transcript. I guess being involved educationally and socially with their children, either prior to coming to preschool or even while their children are preschool, because again, our kids are going somewhere. So like, how did what does that look like? As a parent, you know when you're giving it to child homework or work. What are the parent doing at home. Can you give us some examples of what you, like, would like parents to do to help make preschool successful? There we go.

Speaker 2:

Well, learning starts at home. That's the number one thing. So I suggest that parents number one learn how their child learns what they like, you know what will motivate them, right?

Speaker 2:

So when they do get into preschool or when they do go to kindergarten, right, the first thing the teacher is going to ask what does your child like? First thing the teacher is going to ask what does your child like? You'll be able to give them an answer. Well, you know what he really like cars. And if you just bring cars around, he will do anything for the cars. And of course, as a creative teacher, you can do a whole lot with cars, right?

Speaker 1:

So that just gave her a leg up in creating or putting her lesson together wow, yeah, I never thought about it like this yes, so, um, that helps a whole lot.

Speaker 2:

You you're the parent is able to tell the teacher, you know about their child, their likes and their dislikes, right, well, we be wondering why a child is shutting down. That's because we're doing something they don't like, right, right, so, and then that's the importance there. And then, as the child continues to develop, you know, you just start making sure that they have different things that they you see that they are struggling with, say, if it's their county, right, um, a lot of uh or abcs. I'll say abcs because a lot of children or parents think their child know their alphabets when they start singing them.

Speaker 1:

Oh, I was gonna say I seen that today one of the um, this college professional, she said that what she realized is that, um, everybody's like my kids know the ABCs, my kids know the ABCs, and then they start singing them but then, without singing them, they didn't know them, they didn't know what came before or what came after. I'm glad you said that, because we're thinking a lot of times that we're oh, my kids know the ABCs because we're singing them but not actually using them. Each letter individually, because letters form words Right and words form sentences. Each letter individually because letters form words and words for a sentence you know so on.

Speaker 1:

So that's a good point you said Kel, because I never thought about it. And so I heard this professor say that yesterday. Matter of fact, she was like yeah, everybody think they kids know ABCs. I'm like, well, if they singing them, they know them. And then she was like no, and she broke it down.

Speaker 3:

So go ahead. You can't even show them and they won't be able to understand.

Speaker 1:

Yeah. So you're saying do more than just sing to your kids.

Speaker 2:

Yes, you have to, number one, tell them the importance of learning a letter, because letter makes words Letters. You know this starts off like in the Becca curriculum you take, you know two letters. You say you know with the vowel and the other constant, and you put them together, it's a sound. First, right.

Speaker 1:

Oh yeah, we went straight to a letter make a word, we're talking, we need some sounds, right, right, so they have to learn those sounds right okay, from them learning the sounds and you, you put.

Speaker 2:

You know another letter there. Now you have a word but they have to know that structure see, that's why you, that's why you, who you are, because you, you I didn't jump right to the words.

Speaker 1:

I'm like listen, you need to learn this letter so you can get this word together. No, you said you didn't learn this sound, so you get the letter so with that, you know, they're able to sound out words yeah that makes sense, yeah, sense. They're able to spell words.

Speaker 2:

And then it also teaches them the importance of certain letters like the vowels Right, how they operate and also how they change sounds.

Speaker 1:

Yes, so don't just jump and skip and think your kid's supposed to be reading a whole book and we didn't even teach them how to sound. No, they sound.

Speaker 2:

No, they sound. Yes, but the main important thing is that you're teaching them about their alphabets and why they're important. So then, as you're teaching them, they know exactly what they are supposed to do and what they need to listen for. That's good.

Speaker 1:

All right, any more questions. Because I know that was good, because I didn't even think about that. We need to come to a close, though, but anything, pamela, no, that just really hit me like really teaching them the importance of the alphabet. We're not just teaching an alphabet. Anything that we teach our kids is not just teaching them just to teach them. It is really tools to get you to the next level, and we can't jump and skip these levels.

Speaker 2:

You know that's. That's one thing why I love the abeca because they have levels, they have steps and now, and it starts at 18 months, wow that's good, that's good, wow, all right.

Speaker 1:

So we had a fantastic night here, apparently with a purpose. We learned a couple things even in my um old age regarding parenting you know, I ain't got no babies, no more, I got some god babies but just really understanding the foundational things that we really, as parents, need to be able to give our children, and how communicating and being involved with the teacher, or even daycare or preschool, how important it is, I think tonight, like our takeaways, really is making sure that we're laying a foundation of nutrition.

Speaker 1:

You know, and just a foundation of like excellence, like when we talk about presentation and appearance and really giving our kids the tools to be successful.

Speaker 2:

and that comes from the parent first yes, because, like you said, when nutrition we have to be mindful that's brain development right.

Speaker 1:

Brain development is so important. People don't realize. I know one of the things when I was working in a doctor's office and we, the parents, used to come in I'm going to finish this up but parents used to come in and ask us to write a letter stating that their child could not have whole milk or they wanted the 1% or skim milk and everything. And we used to have to explain to these families that that is not healthy for a child. You would think that it's healthy because it's healthy for an adult, but as children grow, you need that fat for brain growth. You need healthy fat for brain growth.

Speaker 1:

And a lot of times we want to put our kids on diets and restrict things from them, saying that they don't need this and that. But we know that sugar is carbohydrates and that's energy source, right. We know that protein is necessary. We know that fat is actually necessary. So we used to have parents and they would get so upset with us because we said your kid has to have fat, like you want the kid's brain to grow. But they didn't understand. But that's part of just educating families too, when we talk about nutrition and the things that they need, not just fruits and vegetables, because then some families will think, oh, that's all they need is fruit and vegetables. No, there's other parts that you want the grain to grow, or you just want them to be real skinny and then you say look like they're malnutrition. Anyway, I digress, she's a nurse.

Speaker 1:

So it's been really a great night. Just learning about how important early childhood education is and its necessities in order for our building a foundation so that our children are able to build upon that foundation and be able to have much fruit from that root is important, um. So we thank you, kelly, for coming here again tonight and just sharing with us your experience as a um, as a home, uh, child care center and then a center, and how we're so glad that you are expanding. You know I do remember you were just at home with that little living room not little, but with that little living room but now you have four classes and that's just a testament of how much love and and things that you're pouring into these children, that that you're able to grow and expand. So that's that's. That's amazing. Definitely keep it up. And I see that you know your center is expanding to multiple centers because of the foundation you have laid in these children for all these decades and we can see the fruit of it. Thank you.

Speaker 3:

What you got to say, Pamela. I just want to say thank you for dropping a nugget of telling us, informing us about learning, the importance of learning your child. Because, they are going somewhere. So not just they have somewhere to go, but they are going somewhere Making that statement, making that demand, having their charge on their life, so that when you're waking up, you know you're waking up not just for your own purpose but for the purpose of your child.

Speaker 2:

Absolutely.

Speaker 3:

To help lead our communities, help lead you know different organizations, to help lead this world, so it can all be a better place. This is what parenting with a purpose is all about dropping the tools, the nuggets and then also what you're experiencing. So, as we previously said, we're not just talking from what we see and what we're reading, but real life things, watching you evolve, because I remember before it was four classrooms, so just watching that grow, watching your staff grow and you said you did advertisement.

Speaker 3:

I was like, did you I don't even remember you doing advertising. I remember seeing people like send them the kingdom builder.

Speaker 1:

Yeah kingdom butters love center word of mouth.

Speaker 3:

So your actions are speaking for you, your character is speaking for you in rooms and tables that you haven't even been at yet. So we thank you for what you do, what you stand for and coming here to show up and inform our audience as well.

Speaker 2:

Yes, thank you. Yes, thank you for having me.

Speaker 1:

Well said. So thank you again for joining Parental With A purpose um podcast. We are here every thursday at 7 pm um bringing back the responsibility and nobility beauty back into parenting. You can follow us on facebook at parenthood with a purpose page. You can follow us on instagram on donna janelle um. You can also email us parentingwap at gmailcom if you have any questions or any concerns and even if you want to be a guest on our show, if you have a parenting story that you would like to share with the audience, we are open to all stories.

Speaker 1:

There's nothing that there's, no topics we don't talk about. So everything is a topic and we're ready to engage with it, even to engage with it Even if we don't even agree with the topic or your stance on it. We are available for healthy debates around here. Yes, as you can tell, pam and I have a lot of healthy debates around here, but we certainly appreciate you guys joining us and make sure that you follow us again on Facebook and Parents of the Purpose page and also Instagram under Donna Janelle. Thank you.

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