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Parenting With A Purpose
Donna Janel Williams, a Chester native is on a mission to bring back the responsibility, nobility, and beauty back to parenting. Parenting With A Purpose show aims to reach, teach and propel single mom, single dads, married, divorced, adopted, and foster parents all over the world with engaging conversations to help parents raise up successful leaders. Donna Janel believes parents are the bows and children are the arrows and they will land in the direction we aim them.
Parenting With A Purpose
The Art of Cultivating a Family Vision with Integrity and Grace
Discover the transformative power of parenting with a deliberate and heartfelt approach as I, Donna Janel, sit down with Bishop Billy Lane Jr. His deep wisdom on raising children in today's complex world is not to be missed. We share stories and strategies that will equip you to shape a future for your children that's as bright as the visions you hold in your heart. If you've ever questioned how your upbringing influences your parenting style or how to bring up your children with a sense of purpose, this episode promises to offer you both solace and inspiration.
Together with Bishop Lane, we navigate the intricate dance of maintaining a vision while juggling the daily realities of family life. From the powerful acronym VISION to our very own experiences with faith and forgiveness, this conversation transcends the usual parenting advice. It's about crafting a legacy, embracing the roles we've been given, and infusing every decision with intention. Whether you're a parent in a traditional, blended, or single-parent family, the insights shared here will resonate deeply and perhaps even alter the course of your family's journey.
Our discussion culminates in an exploration of the spiritual dimensions of parenthood, as well as the practical aspects of forging a family vision that stands the test of time. By examining our own stories and those of the families we encounter, we uncover the balance between grace and accountability, communication and individuality. This episode isn't just about parenting—it's an invitation to reflect, renew, and rise to the noble calling that is raising the next generation. Join us for a conversation that will leave you moved and motivated to parent with unwavering purpose.
Parents are the Bows and Children are the Arrows they will land wherever we aim them eventually!
Alright, here I go, you, you, you All right, welcome back to parenting with the purpose. I am your host, donna Janelle, where you know we are here to bring back the Responsibility, nobility and beauty back into parenting. We need to be responsible for our children, responsible for ourself. We need, we need to understand that parenting it's an honor, it's royalty, it's noble right to be a parent. That guy has blessed us with these kids. And then also Beauty as a parent.
Speaker 1:Even though parenting is hard, parenting is rough. There are some better days than there's some rough days. Right, I'm not gonna say bad days, good days. I'm gonna say there's some rough days and some better days. Okay, in parenting so, but there's still some beauty behind that and we need to look and focus on the beauty of it. I've been all this well, because it's not all Rough and hard and tough and I can't wait to stop being a parent. That's not it.
Speaker 1:We don't throw in the towel of parenting, right, we continue, if it. We continue with the journey because there are gonna be some greater days. This too shall pass, right, oh, oh and and and, knowing that parents, we are the bowls and our children are arrows and they will land Whatever we send them right. It may not be today, may not be tomorrow, it may not be to be the next one or five years. Y'all for real, if we keep it real, because our children have a journey of their own Right. We cannot dictate their journey. Only thing that we can do is love and support them on their journey and make sure they have the tools to do the journey correctly. Right, but, as you know, sometimes we go laughs, sometimes we go right, but eventually we get back on that road right to where we belong. And, as parents are, duty and responsibility Is to make sure that we give them the right tools right, that we close them so the world doesn't have to close them. And by doing that, that is making sure that we have the right tools for ourselves.
Speaker 1:Right, because you can't pour from an empty cup. How can you parent if you can't? How can you be responsible for your kids if you can't even be responsible for yourself? Right, how can you see the beauty of parenting if you can't even see the beauty within yourself? So there are so many different aspects of parenting that we need to hit on and for us to be effective parents. There's not a perfect parent, right, but there's a perfect parent for that per, for that child, right? I'm the perfect mother for my children. I might not be perfect in somebody else eyes, but I am perfect for their children that God has given me and that God has allowed me to raise, right? So I think that we got not compare our parenting to one another, but really help and support each other in parenting, because it's unique to each child.
Speaker 1:Listen, I have four kids in my house and each one of them children needs something different from me, right? They're not the same personality. Sometimes I think I'm in a circus, sometimes I think I'm in a zoo. Honestly, I don't know what goes on sometimes, but I know that I have to remain calm and figure out this thing. So what we're talking about today is Having a vision for parenting, having a vision for your family, right? Because without a vision, people perish. Without a vision, there's no direction. So today I have the guests here oh, they're one, the only Billy Lane Jr. He's also my bishop, but today he's just gonna be a. I don't know how comfortable I'm gonna be, like saying, hey, billy, what's going? I don't even think I want to say your name, I'm just gonna buy. So what do you think about this?
Speaker 2:Right right.
Speaker 1:So welcome to the show.
Speaker 2:Well, thank you for having me.
Speaker 1:All right, so we're just gonna get it right into it. We're gonna talk about vision for parenting and if you wanted to say a little bit back right about who you are, what you do, how many children you have, so that so that if people notice you qualify to talk about.
Speaker 2:Very qualified, very qualified to talk about parenting. All right, I'm Bishop Billy J Lane Jr. Of course, I'm Donna, janelle's pastor, and I married to Charmaine, pastor Charmaine Lane, and we're the senior pastors of Christian growth ministries located at 850 North Church Street, wilmington, delaware. We are coming up on 25 years of pastoring. Praise the Lord, I have four children. I have the key this, I have Brandon, I have a brand and I have Tiffany, and those are my four children. They're all ten years apart, Glory to God. So I have a lengthy extension of parenting and knowing about children, blended families, you name it. I've been there, done that, got the t-shirt, got the hat, so let's rock.
Speaker 1:All right, all right. So, bitch, see, here I go there. Vision, so tell us what. Let's start talking about vision like what is the vision, and and how does that? How does parenting play a part of that vision? Or how does veritan vision play a part into parenting? Let's talk about the definition, so people really understand what a vision is.
Speaker 2:Okay, I'll give you what I call the elementary definition of vision. Elementary definition of vision is Forcing in your present where you want to be in your future. Let me say one more time for seeing in your present where you want to be in your future. Right, and I like that to always say this. I like you that to planning a trip to go to Florida. I'll foresee myself in Florida in my future, but I back up and then I start making preparations and plans to get there. Right, so that's what vision does. Vision gives you foresight. I can be sitting here, but my mind is already in Florida. I'm already there, my mind. I just got to get my body there right, so so alright.
Speaker 1:So so you're saying that you see yourself somewhere in the vision part. Is actually planning on how to get there, or Because? Because? Can you tell us the difference between having a dream and having a vision?
Speaker 2:Yes, yeah, a dream, a dream. And it's funny, daughter, because when you have a dream, that's something that either will come upon you in the night hour, the night watch, though you can be daydreaming and God will upload something in your spirit so that once you have a dream and something is given by God, that's something that's supernatural. And it could be something that's natural Right, because your human spirit can also dream something that you may have a desire for, but no spiritual side is something that God is uploading in your spirit and giving you the desire for the things he's showing you. So that's between a dream and the difference of a vision is God gives you insight when vision. I love it, because anytime God gives us a vision, he gives us physical insight to those things that we see.
Speaker 2:Him by foresight. That is like Abraham. He took Abraham out. He told Abraham, looking to the sky, and tell me what you see. And Abraham said him, begin to tell him. I see stars and the moon and stuff in the sky. So God said that's how your children are going to be numbered in the earth, mm-hmm. So he gave him an insight by the vision and then shorted foresight by something natural that he could use to show him, to give him understanding of what he was showing him right?
Speaker 1:So basically, what you're saying is that you could dream about something either Do your own desire, or desire that God has given you, and but it can't stop there, right? No, that's what you're saying is like that is the free to a vision, right? Absolutely you have to have a dream before you have a vision, right?
Speaker 2:Mm-hmm.
Speaker 1:So, whether it's something your own desire or whether God give it to you, but a lot of times, bitch, you're honestly, truthfully.
Speaker 2:A lot of times people stop right there at the dream sure you know, Yep, and the crazy thing about that is this I say this all the time you can have a dream, but you've got to wake up to make it come to pass right, right right because not gonna happen by Osmosis, it's not gonna happen on its own.
Speaker 2:And I think what people fail to realize, even and I and I use as a Prophetic statement right, people can be prophesied to it and they can tell you all the God has saved, but there's still a work element that has to go along with it. It's the same with visions and dreams. We think that when people say something, even with your sharing a dream with somebody about what our desires are, still we have to make that come to pass, right, right, this is the day that the Lord has made, so God makes the day. What we do with the day is up to us, it's not up to God at that point right, right, right, okay.
Speaker 1:So basically, a vision is put in the work.
Speaker 2:Absolutely.
Speaker 1:Okay, so how can we all? Right, cuz when you think about vision, right, you know, there's always a vision for your marriage. This is the things that we hear there's a vision for your marriage. There's vision for you to buy a house right. Right financial vision. There's a health vision, there's a vision for different aspects in the life, but most of time you don't hear about a vision of parenting.
Speaker 1:I like is those people who, those who are actually Set down and playing on being a parent. A lot of people don't actually plan on being a parent, right? So unless that you know, those are it maybe even doing like, spending forty, fifty thousand out even just to conceive a child? Right, so they have a vision for their, their parenting right? Oh, maybe it's. Maybe the vision even just to be how to conceive, not even actually the vision of how it's a parent.
Speaker 2:Right, exactly cuz some people just want to have the children and conceive the child, but not having a vision for raising the child.
Speaker 1:Right.
Speaker 2:And I do know somebody personally I was in that kind of a situation and they spent thousands of dollars for his wife trying to get pregnant and it never happened, because it's always been a desire of my friends to have a baby and it never took place and, as a matter of fact, by the spending all the money, it didn't ever happen and ultimately they didn't end up staying together. But yeah, so you got to have the vision for even having a child, and then the vision for how you're going to raise that child, because you may have two different parenting styles, two different understandings, two different backgrounds of experience. So all of those things play into how you're going to raise this child, how you're going to raise them up in this family. What's our vision for it?
Speaker 1:Most people don't have it. Yeah, and I don't think like because it wasn't really talked about much like vision or anything, it's like listen, I think a lot of times we live in an autopilot life. Right, we deal with it. Once a hit, this thing, this the hand, we dealt with.
Speaker 2:So now we want to play this hand Right, not like love.
Speaker 1:can I create my own hand? Can I create a, make the narrative of my own life? A lot of times and I don't know if it's that we don't think that we can, it's like all right, we just have to deal with this. And a lot of times it's transgenerationally right. It's like how our families deal with it, how our families deal with that. And then you come to have your own kid and you realize wait, hold up, what's going?
Speaker 2:on, absolutely.
Speaker 1:And so how important it is, for because I talked about how without a vision, without it written down, there's no direction.
Speaker 2:Right, that's right how you gonna know where you're going. Yeah.
Speaker 1:You know. You don't know where you're going if you don't have it written down, or even because, again, it can stay in your mind.
Speaker 2:Right.
Speaker 1:But we know that there's so many things happening in our mind. We got millions and millions of thoughts a day. So even if you have a vision for your parenting in your mind and it's not even like playing out, written out- anything like that can quickly lose.
Speaker 1:I know. Let me tell you what happened. Now I've had a vision for my family, right? You know I've been parenting this thing and a lot of most people. You know that I've grown under some interesting situations, growing up right. So in my mind, me and my siblings always said listen, we are not going to.
Speaker 1:First of all, I said I wasn't going to have no kids Because I was like, and the reason why I didn't want to have any children is because I didn't want to damage my children. I didn't want to be the kind of parent that how I was parenting. So I was so afraid that that transgenerational situation would come on to me. So I didn't even want to have kids. But once I, you know I had a child.
Speaker 1:I still the first two years of my daughter's life, like I really still didn't want to be a mom. Now I did everything I needed to do for her but I wasn't emotionally attached to her because I was so afraid that I was going to hurt her. But it wasn't until she was two and then I received God, like through the walkers, where they actually start showing me love and start nurturing me and whatever.
Speaker 1:And then I start to begin to see the love of God and I was able then to actually be emotionally and loving my daughter and actually stepping into a parenting zone, versus me just doing this because I have to, because a lot of times people are doing it because they have to. We haven't been trained how to do it. We're literally just doing it because we have to. We don't want nothing bad to happen to our children but at the same time, if you're not writing this vision, if you're not planning, something bad could happen. Because we're not, there's no direction.
Speaker 2:Right.
Speaker 1:You just know. I think no parent wakes up and say they want their kids to be harmed. No parent wakes up and say that they don't want their kid to be successful. No parent wakes up and say they don't want to be successful, right. So. But if you don't plan it so for years like I did in the first two years, but once I really started to get a hold of parenting and then, you know, start having more children. But even I have a plan and I have a vision for my family and my kids. But sometimes stuff just happened. You just rule.
Speaker 1:So one of the things that I've done was because I told you know, I said this last week, but my kids had upset me so much. So, 25 years into parenting, my three youngest, though, are the ones that my challenges, right, right. And because there's different times. We talked about there's 25 years ago, the way I was raising my daughter is totally different than it again, but the technology and everything is different.
Speaker 1:So the three youngest, they this the two 16 year olds and the 17 year olds Right and the house, all at the same time. So I don't have an issue of my kids out here doing like drugs, sexing up, doing these things, disrespecting the other adults outside of the house, like my biggest issue is them cleaning up my house Like I know it's like that's not one of your bad issues, right, but I could be dependent.
Speaker 1:But if you are a neat person like me, like you know, you got stuff all over the place. So I had cleaned my whole house and I was like, all right, this is going to be beautiful. They going to come home from the weekend, they going to see the house bleached up, cleaned up and mission. When I tell you, within like two hours it was like a tornado or earthquake in the house Right, right.
Speaker 1:I was furious, I was so mad. Let me tell you, I was so mad and I felt, I felt the bullet up in me. Now, mind you, I have a vision of how I'm going to parent, how I'm peaceful parenting, how I'm intentional, right.
Speaker 2:Right.
Speaker 1:All this stuff is written down. They know my vision for parenting, right, I know my vision, but at that particular moment I was so upset I felt disrespected. Okay, right, I felt disrespected and I'm like how dare you? So I started screaming at y'all. You know what I mean. I was like get the off stairs. So I'm taking a pot of stuff that's on the counter, something that just left out all over the place. I'm taking it, I'm throwing it on the ground Like I'm making all this noise in the house.
Speaker 2:I'm like my wife did my son. He's the darkest one.
Speaker 1:I'm like going off and I was like I felt my body boiling. But in that moment I felt like my mom, like it literally gave me a flashback and I said to myself, oh no, and instead of like I didn't hit my kids and stuff the pots, like I was hit with that stuff. But it made me feel so uncomfortable in that anger right. Because that's not how I'm parent. So I finally, and I'm screaming at y'all, and then I wanted to say so much, but I knew I had to control myself.
Speaker 2:Absolutely.
Speaker 1:Because you know they said sticks and stones may break your bones, but words don't hurt you, but they do so. I remember I recorded my mind of what was said to me during those tremendous, those treacherous times or whatever, and what I said. I caught myself thinking, thank God. I said to my son and the girls I said, listen, I'm not going to call y'all lazy, I'm not going to say y'all have lazy behaviors. Because I was sort of saying I didn't want to say you lazy this and you lazy that Because that would really take me out of my element.
Speaker 2:And.
Speaker 1:I probably would have been crying like crazy later about it. But, I did say, like your behavior is lazy, you have lazy behavior. So, that way. I'm not attacking you, I'm attacking your behavior right now, so you know. So I went upstairs and I start crying and praying because I was like okay, god, I'm really upset. I came downstairs and I apologized to my kids. Here they go, what you apologized for we were wrong.
Speaker 2:Right.
Speaker 1:What you apologized for. We didn't hold up to our. We disrespect you, we didn't respect the fact that you did all this for us, and I said I understand that, but the way I responded was not a good way. I said you was mad, you was angry, I was like again, this is not in the vision of my parents Because then, whatever you do, you teach your children how to do as well. They emulate everything you do.
Speaker 1:So, if you're going off and you're snapping out or whatever, they're learning how to do that as well, like I mean, there's times things get heated or whatever, right, but at the same time you want to be able to handle stuff again so that you don't hurt the other person and also that it doesn't really take you out of character, right, right.
Speaker 2:And I think and I think, daughter, to your point, is this too, and I think we have to understand this is the scripture says be angry but send not right, let not the sun go down. He read there. There's an element of part of us, or anger as part of our humanistic nature, that there are things that just take us over the top, but not to the place again where we're degrading, we're berating or doing anything that's going to harm our children, but at the time we're expressing anger and I think sometimes what we do for ourselves and we don't realize we're doing to our children is teaching them how to disassociate from their feelings and feelings are real, they're honest. There's something we have to deal with right, and if we don't teach them that, by them seeing it visually, there's a vision, see it visually and seeing it acted out. Now I have a teachable moment Right and now I can go back and say why do you think that I was upset?
Speaker 2:And then they have an opportunity to express themselves and to share their story as well. So what it does, it gives us moments to teach our children based upon the situation that took place. So all things are not always bad. I say it might have been a bad situation, but we can turn it out to make it good. It's dependent on how we handle it.
Speaker 1:And.
Speaker 2:I think sometimes in our frustration we think things are bad, like I tell people all the time I don't ever have a bad day. I have a bad moment, but I don't allow that moment to affect my whole day. I deal with the situation at hand, I get it taken care of and I move on Right. And that's when we have to learn how to do with parents, with our children. Our children will get on that skin.
Speaker 1:Man, they do, man, they do, they do. But I love the fact that, even in all that, when I came back downstairs, to my children. They literally gave me a pass on all that. They gave me grace. And they said gave me grace. Say listen, this is not even your normal behavior, but we do take responsibility to what we did to cause this behavior.
Speaker 2:That's right, absolutely, and.
Speaker 1:I thought that was beautiful because you know, as parents, we want things to be a certain way, but sometimes it just don't happen. Like life, be life.
Speaker 2:Listen, I like, I'm like you. I like me Now, now. Now, if you look at my room versus my daughter, my grandson's room, I'm like what are y'all seeing, did y'all? I'm doing this so you can get a visual of how your room supposed to be at all times. Right, and they don't get it.
Speaker 2:But we have to understand, sooner or later going to get it, because I think and my mom did this while I, when I was coming up as a young boy we had to learn how to wash clothes, we had to learn how to sew, we had to know how to make our bed, we had to know how to iron All of those things that took place in the home. And my mother used to always tell me because I grew up in the house four girls, I was the only boy so my mom used to always say listen, I'm teaching you now. So when you get older, you're going to know how to do these things on your own Right. So she was preparing me. She had a vision for my future.
Speaker 2:I didn't know it then, right, but I understand it now. And so I think, in the midst of all that and getting them to understand and listen, one day you're going to have your own. Now you can live two ways you can live nasty or you can live clean. So and we get two visions you can see my room or you can see yours. So wish what you want to live. So you're talking about parenting with a purpose we get. The purpose is I'm trying to teach you for your future.
Speaker 1:Right, I say to my kids I think sometimes like I don't know what they're thinking and I know sometimes they don't know what I'm thinking, Right, Even though you're expressing what you're thinking or whatever, but they don't get it or whatever. And I don't sure don't be getting some of this stuff that they like. Why would you do that?
Speaker 2:Right so.
Speaker 1:I said to them like the funniest thing I said to them was like listen, y'all getting older, Y'all going to get out, but when y'all have your place, I'm going to try to tell you what I'm going to do. I'm preparing you what I'm going to do. I'm going to come in, take my shoes off. I'm going to put a cup on the table without a coaster.
Speaker 2:I'm going to put my jacket on the floor.
Speaker 1:I'm going to use every dish you got in this house and I'm going to sit back and not clean it up.
Speaker 2:Right.
Speaker 1:They will say but why would you do that?
Speaker 2:I'm like because that's what you do. That's what you do.
Speaker 1:I was like that's what you're doing now. So that, yeah, that is something. But I think parents really need to know, like you said, that like we can be angry because we're human, Like I don't want us to think that we are emotionless because, God's given us emotion for a reason. It's just that we have to use the right emotions for the right time.
Speaker 2:Exactly that's it. Yeah, you got to use the right emotion.
Speaker 1:So what else about vision, though? What else do you think, like parents? So how so if a person, if a parent, like, didn't plan to become pregnant or didn't have a plan, and don't have a plan, that's the problem Anyway. That's it and don't have a plan Like how do they? Is it too late to start?
Speaker 2:No, no, no.
Speaker 1:With a vision no not at all.
Speaker 2:And it's amazing because I knew you were going to ask this question, right? The spirit of God just told me you were going to ask this question and there's always room for reduce and makeovers, right? Because, again to your point, earlier coming up we saw how life was, how our parents was, how they raised us, and again I was raised in various conditions and positions, so I would use that word, I learned it. So I learned one way from my mother, I learned another way from my father. So from my father's perspective, his whole thing was you know, you have the girls and so forth, and so on. If you get pregnant, just take your child, so forth, and so on. So of course you know that's what it is and that's what you do.
Speaker 2:But I always just had this and I wanna say, something resonated in my spirit at a very young age, and I don't, and to this day it had to be God Cause. Some of the things I knew at that age I couldn't have known other than God Cause. I watched my dad and again, I had my four sisters and me raised by my mother. Then my father had other children by my stepmother, then he had some other children by some other ladies. So I never wanted to be in that kind of a position and me and my dad used to talk about that. I said when I have children, I wanna raise my children with me.
Speaker 1:Right.
Speaker 2:Right. So, and we had that conversation, I said, because you have children, you don't spend time with you know what I mean, like you do with me. So my other brothers had an art against me because I'm being raised with you, so you know what I mean. So you had that division taking place.
Speaker 1:Absolutely.
Speaker 2:Then you had the division with my sisters and with my dad, my sisters different places, so you have all those dynamics going on, you know, when I'm coming up and so learning that. And so once I had my son be, you know, I had him out of wedlock. But then again I'm from the South, so they believe you, you have a baby bomb, you get married to him, Jump the broom, get it done. But my heart wasn't in it. But I knew I wanted to raise him right, so to speak, quote unquote by what I was told. But it didn't happen the way I thought because still I didn't have me together.
Speaker 1:Right.
Speaker 2:And I was trying to raise him, not having me together, wow, which made a major difference because I'm still running, I'm still doing, I'm doing and ultimately that relationship didn't work, but I still end up raising my son and being prepared to raise him.
Speaker 2:But I did have a vision, because I always even being separated or divorced at that time I always had the desire I wanted to raise my son and God gave me that opportunity for my son to live with me.
Speaker 2:So when I talk about reduce and for those who out there who may want to raise your children and you're going through some vicarious moments right now, stay with us, stay in there, cause God will give you the desire of your heart. And now I can say, by me raising my son, come and deliver me and me being able to be with him in his teenage life until his adulthood phenomenal young man, phenomenal. So to be able to go through that process and, in a turn, keep praying and believing God while working out the principles of the word and then saying God manifests that thing now, it is wonderful. So God can give you reduce. That's why I said Corinthians 517 says therefore, if any man be in Christ, he or she is a new creature. Old things have passed away and, behold, all things have become new. So that new thing is being able to redo what you didn't do in the past.
Speaker 1:Right and you said I'm sorry. You said something important. You said you've had that desire now.
Speaker 2:Yes.
Speaker 1:You had that desire. So, although you know cause you constantly, I constantly seeing here is like just when that when there's a divorce take place, and although you had the desire for a family right, you had the desire to nobody plans to be divorced Like cause, why would you get married?
Speaker 2:Exactly.
Speaker 1:So you had the desire and that just it just didn't work out. But a lot of times, honestly, once that works out, it's like the kid gets neglected now because that, even though you had a desire in the beginning for but it's like, well, it's almost like the fire done, went out or something, because this was a quote unquote felt marriage right. So then now the children yourself, and so many times like you got to have a person who, oh, I want to be the best father or the best mother.
Speaker 2:I can possibly be.
Speaker 1:And then things separate. And then all of a sudden it's like but so did this desire change, or did you know? So you said something like you still kept that desire. So then you were able to, you know, raise your son, but so many times help. I want you to be able to talk to the young not even just young, just parents in general, whether you're a male or female particularly more of the male, though, because that's what you know most single households are led by females right.
Speaker 1:And that a lot of times like they'll be there the beginning, but once that whole marriage or even relationship is off, then like the child gets neglected. It's like what you lost, your desire, or you lost your fire. So can you talk to people about making sure that like does it stick to your desire?
Speaker 2:Absolutely. You got you, dora. You have to stick with the vision right, cause we talked about we're talking about vision. We talked about the. You have to stick with the vision, because one of the things I use the acronym we talk about vision. You got to visualize it right. You have to internalize it.
Speaker 2:And then you have to strategize right, and then you have to V-I-S-I right, internalize right, and then the O overcome, yes, s-o, strategize right, overcome, and then necessity. So those things, those acronyms, are important because I have to visualize where I want to go. I had that vision and it's crazy because the vision I had for raising my son is because I helped raise my cousins. Now they had children at an early age, so I stepped in being the cousin of the family. I would always have my cousin's children ride with me. I'll have them hang with me, I would take them out places and stuff like that, like I'll have my own child. And that's how I treated them, Like PJ and Sean and those in the grandfathers. So I would always have them hanging out, cause I always had just a desire for just the raise a boy. You know that was my desire and so, doing it at that age and then coming in to understand what it's like to take care of a child, I knew I was ready to have a child and I knew I could take care of my child, cause it was just always my desire and I knew that I can make this happen.
Speaker 2:And so I think that what people have to realize, even when you go through a difficult, challenging situation say a divorce, like I had to go through, it never stopped me from having a passion or love for my son whatsoever. I mean, I still, you know, had to do the every other weekend thing and the week things and the holidays and all that. I did all of those things Make sure I had my son the times I was supposed to have him and get him. I wasn't putting it off and I can't come this week cause I got this. I can't do no, no, no, this is the time I'm supposed to have him, I'm going to have him. So I made sure that I stuck with the script. I stuck with the court order, I did what I was supposed to do and some right.
Speaker 2:You know, even when you talk about paying child support and making sure the child cause you talked about the early, the cost of having a child right, you got to make sure those things are in place because even if you're paying child support, when they come to the crib you're still going to be taking care of them. So that doesn't stop either. But you know. So I think all of that is part of the vision and visualizing where you want to go where you see yourself. And I had that vision and I knew my directive and I knew my direction and I knew where I wanted to end up. So I never let that get an interfere with what I want to do. Part of that, oh, is I call that overcoming, right? So the overcoming is to make sure that you stay with the vision all the way through.
Speaker 1:Right.
Speaker 2:There are going to always be distractions, there are always going to be hiccups, there's always going to be interferences, there's going to be something to try to get in the way. But you got to sometimes redirect yourself and I thought about this today. You know, sometimes you can drive down 95, the road could be closed and they say detour. The detour is going to take you around about the way, but it's going to bring you back in the place you're supposed to be. So detours can be expected. It's part of life, it's natural. But I may take this detour. But I'm going to get back to the straight I'm supposed to be on and I'm going to get to the place of my destiny.
Speaker 1:Right, that is so important and I think, as we said, if you don't even have a vision, so there's no direction, so you don't even know where you're supposed to go.
Speaker 2:You don't even know where you're supposed to go Like a no man going nowhere.
Speaker 1:Yeah, I know, like this morning I was heading to school in Trenton, un, new Jersey, and left early. You know, got a vision, got a plan. You know I'm out the house at 5.15 AM. You know, take this ride, because I put in a clause for accidents, just in case right.
Speaker 1:So you know it generally takes me an hour and a half hour, 45 together, but I give myself about two hours and 15 minutes just to get there, because you know to be early is to be on time. But to be on time, wait to be early is on time.
Speaker 1:And to be on time is late, yes, so I'm always early. And to be late while I bother Anyway. So I'm driving, driving, I'm smoothing, you know, I'm on the phone, my prayer partner, prayer partners, you know, kelly and Delores, and we rocking out, we're in the word and stuff. And I'm driving and I smooth, like all of a sudden, like eight minutes away from the school, staying still traffic.
Speaker 2:Wow.
Speaker 1:I'm like, I'm just rolling, like. I'm like, and Kelly was like yo, you moving to that when you at. She was like well, I'm like past the airport, so I'm moving, and eight minutes away. I looked at the GPS it was eight minutes away, Wow, and all of a sudden this eight minutes turned into 50 minutes.
Speaker 2:Wow.
Speaker 1:It was staying still traffic, I don't know what was ahead. See, that's the thing, because we really don't know what's ahead.
Speaker 2:Exactly.
Speaker 1:But we could play it all the time right. But we really don't know what's ahead. So I'm like sitting there and I'm like y'all, I'm in traffic and they was like well, wait. And I was like listen, I got a quiz this morning.
Speaker 2:Right.
Speaker 1:And 7.30, we got a quiz. So I was sitting there. I wasn't upset about it. I was like I text the dean of the school and said listen, I'm in traffic A, b and C. Sometimes they go for it, sometimes they don't. If it's enough people that's affected, then you'll be OK, right. I'm sitting there and I was like you know, Alright, ain't nowhere to go.
Speaker 2:Okay, I'm just gonna sit here, so I hung up with them and I start listening music.
Speaker 1:Next thing you know, these trucks come from behind me. Like you got to pay attention to all you around me these short, these emergency trucks come from behind me and what they're doing is they're shutting the road down behind me. So they're like nobody else can come this fast. So all of us who are up here, we're still stuck. Right what he did was he began to lead us and direct us to come back. We had to be worse On the highway.
Speaker 1:Wow we literally had to reverse on the highway and he had to get us off to get to the next exit, like the exit before that. So we were coming all the way back on this high on this one and I thought about first of all I was just thinking, god the fact of how Everything just worked out and that they had like, instead of making us sit there and so they clean up whatever was going Way ahead of them.
Speaker 1:I don't know what it was. They had to be a mess for you to shut down the high right.
Speaker 1:But they didn't even just told us the back of an a lead us and they guided us how to do it. They made sure that we were safe, like it wasn't. Like they was like listen, you need to go. And I thought about guys like you. He's not saying like I'm, I got a deep word teacher for you, go another way. But that way I'm already providing something for you, I'm already making things happen and so for us, even at parents. And I thought about is that, even though things don't go the way that it's always playing, because a lot of times it's our plan, right, right, but God plan overrides our plan.
Speaker 1:Absolutely and we don't see in the future. We only see in part. So, even though it doesn't go the way I plan, but God, all there's always like a protective mechanism in the way out. Yes, no matter what. So I just thought that was cool. This morning was like, I mean, granted, it took me longer to get there, but when we, when I got there, the Professor wasn't even there yet because she was stuck in the same track.
Speaker 2:Wow.
Speaker 1:So we ended up. You know, she let everybody come in and she waited a whole hour before we even took the quiz, Because she gave people time.
Speaker 1:Okay sometimes we get upset, we get frustrated about stuff and don't even know what was it's been worked on them, what we can't see right so that's the same thing at parents is like, even though, like I'm a plan, this thing and I don't know, you know how this is gonna work out my desire for the workout this way, but you got to be able to be flexible and be able to make those adjustments.
Speaker 1:Absolutely that cuz early in my parents and I was strict, I was not just and I was like I got a schedule to stick to and I was just so like Don't matter and so like strict on everything and I realized and stop micromanaging, right, my children, versus raising them up to be able to think for themselves, because you're not gonna always be there. So that's part of a vision of parents. I think that we have to realize that we're not gonna be with our children forever. Now, the things that we say and do or how we raise them will stick with them, like me, right?
Speaker 2:Right promise 2026. Absolutely.
Speaker 1:We have to know when to like release a little bit. You know each part of growth and development. Uh-huh and I think that if we don't sit down and really have a plan for that, you get knocked off your feet like you get knocked off your square. You'll be like listen, I'm going in a towel, parents and forget it, especially about them, teenage years. Listen, somebody, get somebody else to do it. It's a situation. No right, so help us understand what a vision for parents that actually needs to look like.
Speaker 2:Okay, I think you have to. The Bible says, private 61 the preparation, the heart is in man, but the answer the tongues of the Lord. So we prepare and we plan five children again Now. I talked about my previous relationship and marriage. Now Let me move forward to my present. Right, my present is now.
Speaker 2:When me and Pasaline got married, there was vision. We knew what we wanted, even when it came to having a child, which is a Brea. And one of the things we Vastly to between Two opinions for while was do we want a child, don't we want a child? That I going back and forth, because the Ken, I have a son, she has a son, yeah, I had Brandon, she has Keeves, and so we like, okay. Then if I was like man, I want a girl, I got two boys, I gotta have a girl. And so we decided, and it came to agreement, right, about having another child. Then God blesses that Brea, which I call mommy.
Speaker 2:So now, raising her was a little different than raising Ken, branded, because now she's ten years younger. Then the two of them, right, because keys 46, brandon's 36. She just turned 26 and so this year there'd be 27, 37, 47. Wow, yeah, yeah. So so you got this whole dynamic, yeah, 47. And to those who are asking, he don't look 47, I know, praise the Lord, I Might start young anyway. I Told you I wouldn't always be sure anyway. So so the vision was, is to make sure that we raised our family in A different way. In a different way, was to raise our family based upon the word. Now Brandon again, and Keevis. When we came together past lane I got married. You know, brandon came in in the middle of my salvation and and Keevis came in in the middle of our salvation as well, being saved. So now we're changing the trajectory of our household right from the world because I was a clubber from the world to now the church. So now the difference between Brandon Keevis and a Brea is Brea only knows us from the church. World, right?
Speaker 2:Okay she only knows us from the secular world or our post salvation world Pre Christ days, based upon what we tell her, she has no knowledge of it, right because she didn't experience it. So now she's in a vision that she doesn't recognize that God has ultimately put together.
Speaker 1:Right, okay, yeah you know what I'm saying.
Speaker 2:So Pasalena and I are been, have been, married 27 years. So Brea only knows her mom and dad the length of time she's known us in these 26 years of being in the things of God. So her ideology and thought process is a lot different because she knows us from this perspective. So she knows I'm raising her from the word of God. She knows that I have a vision for that, whatever I do with my family. That's why I bought my little notebook you know talking about, because I had my family meeting the other night and we rolled out our family vision Okay, where we're going, our directors in our direction. We talked about where we are spiritually, physically, financially, socially, educationally, mentally, relationally, and what we're going to do in our home, what we're going to do for us Vacations are concerned. So all of this stuff is written in this book, right? So everybody in my family knows where we're headed, right? We know where we're going. So it's now because we got. Noel wants to go to Florida, so we're planning for that. I got to see my, my granddaughters, in Texas, so we're planning for that. Brea wants to go to a conference in Houston we're planning, she's planning for that. So we know, everybody knows where everybody goes because they know the plan. The plan has been written her back to two and two. Right the vision and make a plane so that they to read it. We'll be able to run with it.
Speaker 2:So, if you're in a family situation and most families don't do this and that is to sit down with your family and let's have a conversation we shouldn't be so busy that we can't sit down and have a conversation with our family. Some of us in our families are like shift passing in the night. We don't know where we're going. We see each other when we come in. We see each other when we get up in the morning. That's pretty much it. So how do you know the direction of your family? Right, right and to your point earlier, promise 2018,. Without a vision of people perish I said this away. Without vision of marriage perishers. The family perishers. Where there's no vision, no direction or directive, we don't have any place. We're going Right and so we want to be making sure. We want to make sure that we're heading in a direction. So we, if you came to my house and asked what's our vision, everybody can share it because everybody knows, right yeah.
Speaker 2:And that shows that we're communicating, that shows that we're talking. So there's no indifferences with the vision, because, if there are right because one of the things you were saying about the accident earlier you got to leave room for interruptions they're going to come in Right. So you got to be flexible, you got to know how you make your next move. If this happens, how we make our next move, how do we make the adjustment to make sure we're staying on track to see the vision come through fruition?
Speaker 1:And when everybody in the house knows the vision. Now you're being held accountable for the vision. Absolutely Like you know, like you know, we have our vision down our family.
Speaker 1:So if one of us like slide and I and I give my kids room to have that conversation with me like you know in a respectful way, but if one of our, if one of us slide, or you know not what we need to be, or we don't seem like we going in the right direction, like we're all open to say, like, listen, this is what we had said and you agree to this Right. However, you know like, for example, again, that is always cleaning stuff, it's always stuff about cleaning. You know, I got the one that just I don't know what goes on with her, but I'm always conscious that, listen, now you wrote your vision. Now we all set together because it wasn't just something that I came up with, it was something that we came up with a family, and then each person has their personal vision for themselves.
Speaker 2:Yes.
Speaker 1:Right so, and we all hear each other's personal vision which is good, because we're now able to hold each other accountable, and not only just hold your accountable, but help assist you. Yes, for you, absolutely so, that's why it's so important for the whole family to be to understand and hear this vision and even if they don't get it at first, but because I love you and we hear this vision, I'm able to assist and help you. Absolutely, and I'm not going to do anything to hinder?
Speaker 2:this vision Absolutely and, if I do check me, absolutely, absolutely Because you're part of the plan and I think what we fail to realize during this once we, once we achieve the vision, it works out for everybody. Everybody's satisfied, everybody's happy, everybody has a smile on their face and I think that's what we have to understand Right, it's the end goal. Right, because one of the part, one of the things we talk about in the vision, the letter, in necessity, what is this going to be like when I fulfill it? What is going to be the end goal of it? How's it going to satisfy me? Where am I going to be in my emotions, my feelings?
Speaker 2:And there's a whole lot of things that come along with that. There's satisfaction that comes in it. There's rest that comes in it. There's, there's the peace to come in it, right here, keep us in perfect peace. If we keep our minds stayed on him, who also trust, if in him, so we trust in God, there's the peace fact. I don't think in my world there's nothing that outweighs peace, because, at the end of the day, we all want the peace of God. That's surpassable understanding, to keep our hearts and minds through Christ Jesus, our Lord. I think that's the end goal is the peace that this is going to bring Right. No more frustration, no more tugging, no more toiling, just to know this part of my life is over Now I can rest and finish work. That's the same thing God did Right On a seven day, with the Bible saying and he rested from all his lead.
Speaker 1:And then the good thing about, as you mentioned, is peace, though that I think that we don't really understand how peace affects our body, right, because if we, if we're talking about the vision for you know, physically, financially, social, exo, health, wellness, part of that vision, right? So if we are not having peace within ourselves, within ourselves, if we are having interterm or even external term, or that would become interterm, or we have no peace.
Speaker 2:That's right and then.
Speaker 1:So the vision for health and wellness. That's how the window now.
Speaker 2:That's absolutely Absolutely. And you can't, you can't, don't listen. You can't put a premium on peace. You understand what I'm telling you, man, in, in, in, in there there. There are moments in times in life where we have to really just take an assessment of where we are and what we want and then make it happen Right, because if you're not willing to make it happen, that's the eye you got. I got to initiate, I got to put in the work necessary and needed to cause this vision to come to pass Right. Faith without works is dead and too many people watch this, too many people want other people to do what you're not willing to do Right, and nobody's going to do that. I don't care if you go to the therapist, the psychologist, the counselor, the coach, whoever still, at the end of the day you have to put that work in Right. Right, you can't expect. I just. I just texted one of my friends just there, said you can't make a withdrawal where you have not made a deposit.
Speaker 1:Absolutely.
Speaker 2:And many of us want to withdraw from a place we haven't put deposits in. So if I'm, if I want my kids to be all that I want them to be, I have to deposit in them. So I have to share with them and have to talk with them, I have to pray for them, I have to teach them the word of God. So now, all of my kids that have been, praised God, I raised three, four wonderful children who are doing exceptionally well, right, and so it's the fruit of what I took the time out to do to make sure that they had what they needed, right To your point, to help them, to aid them into a system.
Speaker 1:Right, because so many times, so many times when we think about parents and and I don't know if it's just something, that it's a, again, I think it's just transgenerational. Or even when you think about even slavery times, about full clothes and shelter, right, we know that is like at least growing up for me. I've never heard people talk about the emotional need, the mental, the, the wellness, right, just the physical wellness, but it's not. So. Now we're coming to a place where we're being awakened about like kids need more than you need, more than full clothes or shelter. So why would your children need more than that?
Speaker 1:And I think, but something you said earlier. So I wanted to ask you so your kids are doing well now, right, but has that always been? Has that always been that way, like they're grown now and they're doing exceptionally well, but has there been times where it seemed like, even though you put forth this vision, it seemed like they off a little bit of it, like absolutely?
Speaker 2:Glory to.
Speaker 1:God yeah.
Speaker 2:Yeah, yeah, yeah, that was that one moment at home right now, anyway, but no, and the thing. But yeah, they, they. You know, of course we all go off track at times. We did it when we were younger, right? So one of the things about me I'm the face of grace, right.
Speaker 1:That's what I was about to get to, I'm like, because a lot of times when our kids go off the the way that we think that they should go, sometimes we just throw them away.
Speaker 2:No, it can't really.
Speaker 1:Or you can't come in our family. You can't because of either, what type of lifestyle they chose right or what type of things you know they got into and it's like you're disgracing a family or something like that, where you literally cash your kids away and now like again, the world is now keep dressing them because you literally just kicked them out. So it's like they don't. It seems like the grace is not there.
Speaker 2:Right, that's right. And again, remember now, I'm a Bishop, I'm a pastor of a church, and then I have my daughter, who gets pregnant with my grandson, noel, and so you know, initially, when it first happened, I was angry, I was livid. I'm the Bishop, I'm the pastor. You know what I teach that at all. And what happened in the midst of that, though, is my daughter told somebody else about it before she told us. So now my question is why weren't you free enough to tell me? You know what I'm saying. I'm your dad, I'm your dude, I'm your boy, me and you. We rock out, we go to lunch every day, I pick up from school every day. You know what I'm saying. So we had opportunities to talk, but because of my stance, right.
Speaker 2:And what. I believe she didn't want to bring that to me because she knew how hurt I was going to be. But although I was angry, I never forgetting going upstairs and I'm ramping and running. Something's coming on. I'm fire coming out my nose, ears and mouth, everywhere you name it. If it was a whole fire was coming off. But anyway, I remember going upstairs and the spirit of God told me, said first of all, who are you to be mad at her? Look at your life. And then he said not only that, she doesn't need Bishop Lane, she needs her father. And I came down, apologized and listened Okay, whatever we need to do, we're just going to get it done. So for a song.
Speaker 2:So I met with you know, a Noel's dad. So we had a conversation and conversation I thought went well. I thought we were from my perspective. So I just let him know what was going to take place, what was going to happen. Whether he was in my grandson's life or not, be it known until you, he will be well provided for and well taken care of. He's going to six years old today and he ain't Mr B Cause, cause his grandfather is going to make sure that he has all that he has supposed he's supposed to have. So I don't get caught up in those things. Okay, that didn't happen, that I know. My responsibility now is to make sure he's trained and raised right.
Speaker 2:Right so everything else that took place with the face of grace. God had grace on me because God knows I was whole and so he, he, uh, god knows I was whole and so I, the same grace saw me. How am I not going to give it to my baby? I'm staying so that's what I did and making sure that that she was what she needed to be and cause. I love my kids. I love my kids. Glory to God. I. I can't even think of the word other than that, agape that I have for my children.
Speaker 1:Right and I think, um, it sounds like based on your vision and your love, and you couldn't leave her with that feeling, that you were so angry with her, that you wasn't there for her Love didn't allow you to leave her like that.
Speaker 2:No way, daughter, no way in the world, I could add and that's what I say to a lot of parents.
Speaker 1:It's like I know that you're upset and I know that you're angry, I know that this happened. This is not what you plan, but think about some things like give them grace. Like you know, like we, nobody's perfect.
Speaker 2:Oh, I'd be, like, I'm here, like for real.
Speaker 1:It's stuff that you do that nobody knows that you do, so think about yourself.
Speaker 2:Yeah, I think we missed that. Yeah, I miss what we used to do before we became who we are.
Speaker 1:Yeah, and even while we are.
Speaker 2:President future.
Speaker 1:Right. So I think that that is so important and I like the fact that you brought that up to About that, because so many times I see it all the time when I'm Coach and parents and it's like they have this strict, like oh, this happened right there this way, so I can't do it, and I'm just like yo. What that just doesn't even out of it makes sense like the math is not math in there.
Speaker 1:Right so I need you to get some. That's why last year, on a podcast, I've had a whole month of Healing our wounds, so that we don't bleed on our children.
Speaker 2:Absolutely, absolutely.
Speaker 1:That's why because those things, what happens, is what you don't Take care, as, as you're growing up and then you begin to have children, you begin to put that on them. Absolutely and then their fighting battles that you should have fought a long time ago and killed they trying to slay demons. That and they. And they didn't even like it ain't even there's stuff. So I think it's just so important for us to be like Conscious, like yes, you know we know that things happen subconsciously and everything but the conscious mind is so Important absolutely and that would allow you to be intentional in all your actions.
Speaker 1:So what else you got for us? What else you want to tell the people about vision, like we had a lot tonight, I know right.
Speaker 2:But you, I'll say this daughter, you write the vision right and you and you stay with it all the way through it. Because Sometimes what I see is, especially when it comes to parents, and again them being frustrated, raising their children. So for this on and I like what you talk about bleeding on your children, and it's it's past trauma that the parent has it dealt with and now they're passing on to that child and I think it's unfair for me to have to Put on my child what was put on me because of what they might be into. They're not us, they didn't, they didn't come through and the same situation. I know how this go, I know that no, no, wait a minute. But but they're different. So our job is to train them and to teach them and if they do fall, I'm there to pick them up, right, because they're my babies. One thing we got to understand about our children they are there All the days of our lives. It's always one says like marriage, but we know it don't always stick to death.
Speaker 1:Do us part.
Speaker 2:Like marriage is supposed to be. Um, our children with us forever. Glory to god. Whether we stay together as parents or not, there's still our babies, mother and father. There's still our children, and we have to be. We have to make sure that we have that clear understanding. This is my baby. How, how does god want me to raise them? How am I, as a mother, how am I, as a father, supposed to make sure that I'm taking care of my children the way god wants me to take care of them?
Speaker 2:Right because you said something earlier About culturally and coming up, you know, in the past, one of the things that I know Beyond the shadow of doubt, the transcend that transcends culture, that transcends history, is the word of god, because we may have different social things that we deal with now, today, because of social media technology. You know all those things and now we're dealing with so many things that are coming at our children. We didn't have this kind of stuff when we came up, right? And so now we're dealing with a whole social network that's trying to raise our children, right? No, we're responsible for raising our children. Joshua 24 15.
Speaker 2:Joshua said this. As for me and my house, we will serve the lord. He made a conscious decision that this is how we're going to raise our family, this is how we're going to raise our children, and the truth of the matter is the reason we're dealing with so many Culturally cultural things in our culture that's messing up our culture, that's traumatizing our children. It's because we got away from the word of god, plain and simple. Why? Why do we need therapists? Why don't think about it? We came up, we should have had some therapists.
Speaker 1:Hold up, wait a minute. Don't say we came up without therapy because we needed them.
Speaker 2:We needed them. You know, I thought everyone was a whooping we get out of my face. So so now we we've been introduced to this therapy Psychologists, psychiatrists and mental health experts and things of that nature to help us understand our identity. But again, with that, because I'm a pastor and because I just believe in the power and the authority of the word of god, we have to have our minds renewed Right from a secular position, from a natural position and to a supernatural position, understanding the biblical context of who we are, and I guarantee you that our lives will be much different and you said something a couple minutes ago about, um, when we talked about culturally, like Transgenerationally, of how we are parenting.
Speaker 1:And there's one thing I'm constantly reminding myself, and I actually have it written down to remind myself is like I'm not responsible for how I was raised. That's right but I am responsible of how I raise myself. Now and raise my children right.
Speaker 2:Absolutely.
Speaker 1:What could it should have, what should have happened? Okay, fine, and I and I use that. I say that because all this stuff hurt it Hardly. Can pain that I went through as a child and I think about one of the reasons why I'm able. People ask me all the time why are you able to have such a great relationship with your parents? The first one I know a real love is now, come on now, you know god allowed me to be, have a forgiveness right.
Speaker 1:And also, once you really have love and forgiveness true love and forgiveness you start to seek first to understand, versus be understood. You realize that they did the best that they could with what they have, but what was going on? Absolutely we're not. We wasn't back in the day, we weren't in their mind. You can't just, you know, move yourself and put him in stuff for somebody else's body. You ain't got right, so you don't know the thoughts of that person, you don't know the emotion, you don't know anything. And so many times I used to blame my parents for so much Into my earlier adulthood and so in life, but because, listen, you ain't even that age, no more. Why?
Speaker 1:are you still holding this and then this is going to hinder you for the rest of your life. No, you address it, you forgive and just give them some grace and realize like I love my parents, I rock out with my parents no matter what, and they're like how can you do that? Because, first of all, I have love. Don't allow people to feel a certain way.
Speaker 1:Absolutely like my love that I have. I'm responsible to making sure that things are well right. So I can't leave you with this hurt and pain that you feel like you did me wrong. No, I give you grace for that. So so many times we we blame our parents and then we can't raise our kids, probably because we're still blaming our parents. So I just encourage you parents, like it doesn't matter what you've been through or who did what, how they did it, when they did it. At some point you have to take Responsibilities for your own life and says I'm not that little girl anymore, I'm not that little boy anymore. I now can find tools to be able to help raise myself to be the best person I can be. So therefore, when I do have children even if it's not your own children, even children in the community, because children's everywhere that I can be a conduit, I can be able to help others raise their children as well, even if you don't have your own biological children Like I've had guy kids every.
Speaker 1:I'm odd on the area my friend has. You know, kelly has a child cousin. All the kids odd Donna. Ain't got no blood related to them. But I'm odd, donna, because the love and care that I show and if we don't take care, that we are not able to display that love and care, and then that's how we believe, because these children will grow up without knowing love.
Speaker 2:That's right. That's right, and, and and love is the highest order of God known to humankind, and I think that one of the things we have to understand is you were saying that the Bible says forgiving one another, even as God, for Christ's sake, has forgiven you, and one of the things we got to do is let go and let God. A lot of people are still trapped in the past.
Speaker 2:And they got to let go. The Bible says for getting those things which are behind and reaching for it. So you got to forget about what took place and move forward in it, because if you don't, you're going to be trapped and stuck in time.
Speaker 2:Yeah and time is steadily moving while you're stuck in it. Right To everything, there's a season and a time to every purpose under the heavens. So we got to realize, in order for me to get unstuck from time, then I got to get in time and start moving along with time, because what keeps moving it, although you stand still, time, yeah.
Speaker 1:And in that way that we can really write to be clear clear. Clear. You know it says write the vision, make it plain make it plain. So they who really can run with it. Well, if it's not written, who's gonna be able to?
Speaker 2:read it.
Speaker 1:Exactly. Absolutely it's so important. Um, thank you for coming with time time we're closing up on time, but uh, thank you for coming Um thank you for having me on the show, really, because I think you know To start a new thing, as we are in 2024, beginning a new year, I think it's so important to less lay the foundation of how it should go, because if we write it and then we have something to follow, we have a direction, so that again we don't look at the end of the year what did I accomplish?
Speaker 2:Why did I?
Speaker 1:do this or that, but if I really can write my own narrative, like you know, not have somebody else do it Let me put my hands to the cloud and put the work in. I think, um, that would literally change the trajectory of our families.
Speaker 2:Absolutely.
Speaker 1:Yeah, and we don't have to look for external Right, as we say, the government, you know, right, all these other entities to to do what we can do for ourselves, absolutely Right. I mean, what we can do for ourselves is so important, so it's not that, um, we have to depend on other people. Now, that's good, because it takes a village to raise children. Right, we want to make sure that our village is built and we have that circle, but ultimately, the responsibility Is on us, it's on us, absolutely.
Speaker 1:So we just got to make it happen. So thank you again for coming by, you know it was always well to have a conversation with you.
Speaker 1:I believe that people really got something to take away tonight, and I understand that even you as A man, in your positioning and your power to even know that there were some things happening in your life, but you were able to redo and to fix so that it doesn't continue to happen. Oh, absolutely, so I think that's very important. So thank you, guys for joining parenthood with the purpose. Again, I am your host, donna Janell, and this is visibly legion junior, and we just thank you for make sure that you write a vision for your family, though.
Speaker 1:Sit down with your family, write the vision so that everybody can be able to read it and everybody can be able to run with it and do what you need to do for your family. No more excuses. Y'all have a great night.
